What Do You Really Want?

Over the last two days, I had the privilege of hanging out with several other church planters in the FEC. This morning we began our time together by studying the passage from Mark 10 where Jesus heals a blind man named Bartimaeus. If you are unfamiliar with the story, you can read it here.

Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (which means “son of Timaeus”), was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.”

So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.

“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.

The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”

“Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road. (Mark 10:46-52 NIV)

Near the end of the passage, Jesus asks Bartimaeus a profound question: "What do you want me to do for you?" As we were studying this passage together this morning, my church planting coach asked all of us to stop and answer that question for ourselves. I don't know if I've ever done that before. I mean, I've asked God for lots of things in my life, but I don't know if I've ever looked at this passage in a personal way before. Like, what if Jesus were to ask me the same question. "Chris, what do you want me to do for you? What do you really want me to do for you?"

How would I answer?

How would you answer?

What if Jesus asked you the same question?

What would you say?

This question has been consuming my thoughts all day long. It reminded me of when I first started out on this church planting journey and I wrote a blog about my prayer for that year. It came from this quote from a Jewish theologian named Abraham Heschel. He said, "Never once in my life did I ask God for success or wisdom or power or fame. I asked for wonder, and he gave it to me."

Today, I was reminded of that prayer I prayed at the beginning of this wild ride and how God has been so faithful to answer that prayer. Now here I am six months in, leading a healthy, growing church, and yet the answer to the question hasn't changed. I want Jesus to give me wonder. I want to be amazed by God. I want to be blown away by what he does and how he does it. I want to be in awe of God. I want this for Pine Hills City Church. I want this for the city of Fort Wayne. I want to experience this in my own personal life. I want to see this in my family. I want to see it in my marriage. I want to see it in my kids.

I am asking for wonder. That's what I want. That's what I want Jesus to do for me. Not success, not wisdom, not power, not fame, not fortune, not influence, not anything else. Just give me wonder.

And I am believing that God will continue to answer that prayer.

So how about you? What do you want Jesus to do for you? What do you really want?